April - Carried Me With You

Welcome back to Thinking Out Loud!

 

April has been an interesting month so far, for me at least. I was really scared that I wouldn’t get to write that much in spring because of school and all, but luckily, it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. Still, a lot has happened this month and one of the ways to calm my mind and body is (obviously) listening to music. Which brings us to this month’s song: “Carried Me With You” by Brandi Carlile!

It was written for a Disney/Pixar movie, called “Onward” but I didn’t know about that when I first heard this song. It was recommended to me on YouTube and I simply decided to listen in. (It was fate, let me tell you!)

I instantly fell in love with the melody and especially with the lyrics of it. The song fits my usual taste of music pretty well too so it just made sense for me to like it. I actually remember crying when I heard the song playing for the very first time – it grew on me quickly.

 

To this day I don’t know what it was exactly that captured me so very much and fast. Maybe it was the thought of a person understanding and accompanying you through your hardest times, just being there by your side. I recall sending this song to one of my friends who was very helpful at the time and ever since then the people closest to me have always come to my mind when I was facing any kind of hardship. It feels comforting to imagine someone being impersonated within Brandi Carlile’s lyrics. But even if you cannot think of a friend or a family member, perhaps you could think of someone you believe in instead. Whatever higher power you consider worthy of your faith is there by your side in your hardest times, supporting you.

 

I mentioned the movie to the song already but I want to talk about it a little more because I just love it so much. So – spoiler warning ahead, I guess. “Onward” has become one of my comfort movies. In fact, I only watched it for the first time last November. We had friends of our family over and the kids wanted to watch a movie, so we ended up choosing this one as none of us had seen it before. At the end of the film I was crying. Like, a lot. The kids were even starting to get seriously worried about me. I had to assure them that I was fine, but to be honest, I was not. Emotions are a weird thing sometimes…

 

Like I said, I already loved the song but in the context of the movie it’s just even more touching (Yes, it is a kid’s movie, but there are some hidden gems in that genre …). Maybe it’s just me, I really don’t know, but the story of the two brothers who are so different and yet have faced so much together really played with my feelings. It actually reminded me of my sister and me in a way. Though we obviously aren’t magical beings in an enchanted world and we luckily still have both of our parents in our lives. Still, we have grown much closer in the last two years or so (not that we weren’t close before, but there’s always room for improvement, right?) and I couldn’t help but think of her and me while watching Barley and Ian on their journey. The funny thing is though, I wouldn’t even be able to tell who’s who, that just kind of changes from day to day. Someday I’m more like Barley and she’s like Ian and tomorrow it’s the other way around.

 

So, to get to a point, “Carried Me With You” is such a beautiful and emotional song on it’s own that you can interpret so much into, but hand in hand with “Onward” there is just something so deeply touching about it to me, I can only recommend you give both, the song and the movie, a chance.

 

Brandi Carlile also did such a splendid job with the lyrics for this song and with capturing the feeling of not taking love for granted and accepting it even when you don’t feel worthy. It can be so hard when you are constantly doubting yourself and thinking that you are a failure to still believe you deserve love at all.

For that reason (and many more of course) I adore Brandi Carlile’s song, because even though you might not feel like it’s justified for you to be supported by the ones who love you, the lyrics make it feel like there is someone in your corner anyway and you also feel the urge to be grateful for everyone who’s by your side.

 

I love listening to “Carried Me With You” at any time and makes me think of all the people who support me and have helped me in the past. Life may be hard at times, but at least I can appreciate my exceptionally wonderful company at any time. I hope you are tempted to listen to “Carried me with you” and maybe even watch “Onward” and I wish you a wonderful rest of your day (or night).

 

Love, Ina

 

Hello hello :)

 

Happy April everyone & welcome to “Carried Me With You” – I’ll just pick up where Ina left me with it.

To be honest, I didn’t know the song nor the movie before Ina suggested writing about it for April. Up to now, I’ve of course listened to the song and the movie had been put on my watch list :)

 

…Before starting to write my part I read Ina’s draft and while reading and then listening to the song again I had to think of a specific time last spring. It was about a year ago and I was really not feeling well.
After feeling like that for a couple of days, my mum suggested to go and see Ina and her sister for some time and I did, even though school was starting again and they live like 1hour30min away. And as my mum picked me up a week later, I felt almost a hundred percent like myself again.
We didn’t do anything astonishing during the time I was at theirs, we simply did things we usually do together, we talked a lot, they made me smile. Just company, you know.

I don’t know how long I would’ve felt shitty if it wasn’t for them. What I do know is that – and it’s been a year now – I am so grateful for this time we spent together and for my friendship with them.

 

When times get a little harder and you feel kind of stuck, life still goes on. But if all you can see are worries and clouds in your mind you cannot help it but feel stuck and unable to do something against it. And you might not notice it but then it’s often other people who help you out of these situations – by spending time with them, they literally carry you with them. They’re there for you, they support you. It’s kind of like a river stream: You’re the little stick of wood, jammed between some rocks and then woooshh the stream (= aka people who you are close with) flows a little heavier and there you go. Don’t judge me for that example, it was the only one I could think of xD You see what I mean?

 

I love Ina for picking this song, it fitted perfectly for this month. It’s been a really amazing one for me, spent with lots of awesome people. There wasn’t a phase where I didn’t feel good, but the song doesn’t have to be connected to that. Good people who are part of your life are always part of your journey, in the good and the not-so-good times. Since I’ll be leaving my home, family and friends for quite a long time next year, I’ve started noticing all the little happy moments with all of them a lot more, more intense than before. I feel so much gratitude for them. And I think that’s what it’s about. Life does suck at some points, there will be times when you don’t know what to do with yourself – it’s not always sunshine and rainbows (I love that term). But in those crappy times you will always have something and that is the gratitude for people who are there for you. Each member of a community has his or her own special and individual journey, but in some way the community always goes together, connected. Other people make your life actually your life, they have helped you to become who you are. Our job then is to stay close to these people and also carry them with us if they need us…

 

I think I’ll leave it here this month. Hopefully you enjoyed reading and hopefully April was a good month for you. See ya in May, have a good day :))

 

 

Love, Lina